you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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