She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Randomize
