The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Holy sore nipples Batman
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
