Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
