Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Randomize
