In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Shame - the story of my life.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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