He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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