I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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