The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
