I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
