we made out on top of his cat.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
