I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
