i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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