She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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