i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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