Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
