its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
