Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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