if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize