she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
