i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
