so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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