Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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