Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
