i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
