his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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