I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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