My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
