ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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