everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Randomize
