I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
