ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
