So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
