just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
