then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just threw up on my dentist
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize