I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
