You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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