are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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