Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
