HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
