I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I love having hate sex.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
