I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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