i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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