doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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