in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
