that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
