So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
