yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
