chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I think I sprained my soul last night
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
