doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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