I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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