I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
