Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
