I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
