i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
