I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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