Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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