Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
