Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
