She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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