would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
